So, cutting ties does not come naturally to me. Sure, whenever something bad goes down with a friend, acquaintance, work, business dealing, you name it, people are always quick to point out how toxic the situation is and how I should just cut ties.
Often I’ve wondered if there is something wrong with me. Maybe it is because I was raised in a family where every possible tie was cut very early on with the exception of one and as a result, i formed an unhealthy bond with my mother.
It seems like everyone else is so quick to do it. So, I’ve practiced visualization and thoughts of cutting the ties. But, when the rubber meets the road, more often than not, I’m right back where I started.
Perhaps it is just because the older I get the more of a highly sensitive person I become. Or, maybe it’s just rooted in the childhood trauma of cutting out my entire family. But, I don’t view it as a weakness because I value — I mean really value — people and connections.
With that in mind and clutched tightly in my “it-would-really-be-much-healthier-if-you-were-not-part-of-my-life” fist, when I do take a step to sever a bad situation, it’s a really big step. Have I mentioned that I’m a little obsessive? Really. I’m obsessive.
So, I don’t expect a ribbon, a trophy, or a medal. But recently I took a big step and risk and decided it was time to leap away from my past. Without going into all of the details, let’s just say there was a big financial commitment that I was tied to with someone else in a less than healthy way.
For four years, I looked for every other way to relieve this. But, finally, I realized, I had to be the one. No one else was going to step in and help me. No one could save me. Call it my message from God or the Universe, my lesson here was that I had to do it.
So, I’ve jumped. I’m currently stepping through the process. Just by nature of taking the leap, it is helping me feel a bit more power. As I move through, I’ll share updates about the lessons I’ve learned and the things I’m experiencing in hopes that it can help you find the balance between valuing others and self-preservation.
Being kind to others also means being kind to ourselves.